Today is Friday May 10, 2014. Sunday is Mother's Day. I am feeling rather low these days but it does not matter for no one cares. Alberto, my pup, and I live together. He gets me through the days now. I feel my family is much too busy with their lives to be interested in anything I do. My friends are interested in themselves only. I have several friends that when I try to speak about myself just shut the conversation down in the middle of my sentence so as a result I do not bother anymore. 

Life is strange. I always thought my husband would be around for most of my life but he is dead now for 20 years and life seemed to stop for me then. He was the only one I loved and could trust with anything. I do believe he loved me. Just got too stressed out by life and died. 

The older I get the harder it seems to go on. Things I cared about do not seem to matter so much. It is what it is. 

I try to be helpful to people when I can for it makes me happy to do something for someone. 

My kids do not understand why I had to leave California. They probably never will and will harbor the resentment to me forever.  I get token phone calls now and then I guess to ease their conscious. You can't force you relatives to care. I am so over it. I know I have me and that is it. 

Here's hoping life gets better so I care a little.