January 24, 2015

Saturday January 24, 2015

Much has happened since my last post. My children came and visited me for my birthday. It was great. I have a wonderful family. It took them five years to get here. I really wanted them to see where I lived, who Alberto is, what my life is like etc. I hope they enjoyed it v

I have become a diabetic and struggle with what not to eat. I have also been diagnosed with an in curable blood disease that I must reckon with for the rest of my life. It petrified me but there is no cure only management with pills.

I have days when I am terribly depressed, days when I dare not leave the house as the medicines are playing havoc with my tummy. I don't complain. No one wants to hear it so I just try to have a little fun with Alberto. He is always happy. I observe and try to learn from him. I get tired very easily and have no stamina to do much. My head says one thing and my body something else.

I probably should have stayed in California but I did not want to be there. My support group is there but in all essence I am alone. After becoming a widow I never tried to meet men to have a relationship of some kind. No one could measure up to my husband. Now I am too old. It is going on 22 years without him. Not a day goes by that I do not think of him and miss him.

I struggle with weight and managed to lose 20 lbs but need to lose much more.   In my head I know I would feel better but cannot seem to do what I should to just get the job done.

Ron and Lee work so very hard. Too many hours. They are so lucky to have such great spouses and children. I adore them all. Just wish I did not live so far away from them. Perhaps I will win the powerbalk tonite and solve my problem. I can only dream b