Well I am back. It is night now. I have been thinking about Thanksgiving. I will certainly miss my family this year but don't care if I am by myself or not. My girlfriend is coming over with a turkey and her husband. I just cannot get excited. I have a feeling that life is not really real. It is just a perception. It is a fantasy. Are we really here? Are we just a thought, maybe nobody is really here.

I have a new puppy, his name is Alberto and he is a doll. I still miss by Beau a lot. I have not forgotten about him whatsoever. This guy has a great personality for which I am grateful. We are attending puppy kindergarten. He is class clown. After about 45 minutes, he is ready to leave or start playing with other dogs. He is cute as can be. Totally disrupts the class with his barking and biting on his leash that bothers his teacher, Miss Susan. We have lots ofwork to do to try and catch up. I had flu last week and got behind. Thought I was going to die. I did not crate him as I thought what if I die, he will be stuck in a cage. I think of death quite often. You cannot reach this age without thinking of death as you feel as if you are living on borrowed time now. What will be will be. I have no power over it. If g d wants me dead that will happen. I am lucky to have lived this long. I will say that.

Don't think I have much zest for life and wish I did. Just feel really old and watching the world go by and not seeing what I like. No ethics or morals from leaders of any countries. Disgusting. Cannot write anymore today, Monday the whatever of November.