Still feeling depressed and blue. Went to nursing home and saw my sister this morning. She seemed happy to see me and actually uttered a few words. Stayed about an hour. Left and went to post office to get stamps.
Came home. Heard my cat yowling but could not find him. Finally after about an hour, I found him inside a chair that has a foot piece that opens. He had crawled upside into that. Will wonders never cease?
Spent rest of day doing laundry, cleaning floors, etc. Spoke with a friend who told me if I am not happy to get out of there (California). Maybe that is what I will do.
Just don't know anything anymore. What is right, what is wrong, what I should be doing with my life. Statistically speaking I have 15 years left. I sure don't want to spend it being this unhappy. Really don't know what would make me happy. Saw that someone won the Mega Millions and gosh darn it was not me. Would that even solve my problems? Probally not but it would sure make my kids happy.
It is my son's 8th wedding anniversary. Am so happy for him and his wife. They truly love each other and are well suited to be together. They have a darling five year old son, that is smart as a whip. They were old to be having their children but that is what happened. It makes it harder but that is life. I was 23 when I had my first child and was considered an old maid because I did not get married until I was 21. Times have changed, haven't they?
Where do people get the strength? Am just worn out. Made some mistakes in my life when I thought I was doing the right thing. Just did not turn out that way. Guess everyone has this thought even though they don't admit it. The trick is to keep moving forward and try to stay positive.
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