I watch couples together and see them squabble and fight in public. Taking each other for granted, not realizing how fragile life is. You can be here today and tomorrow gone, dead. Generally speaking the fighting and squabbling is over nothing. I get great pleasure in seeing a couple together who are obviously in love. They have a precious gift not to be taken lightly. We each think we have "forever" here but times goes fast and soon you see yourself approaching the end and you wonder "What happened to the time?"
I so loved being a homemaker and taking care of my family. I worked "mother's hours" for a long time and was very lucky to do so. All I ever wanted to be in life was a mother and homemaker. That is how the times were when I was born. My mom had to work after my dad died at the age of 36. I was jealous of all the mothers who stayed home in our neighborhood. Maybe that is why it was so important for me to be an "at home mom". All the kids congregated at our house and I loved every bit of it. Lots of moms would not let the kids in their precious houses. But life is to be lived and if you have to worry over each little thing, I feel sorry for you. Who wants to live in a museum?
I was far from perfect as a mum but I tried my best. No one has instructions when they have a child. No one wants to raise a bad child or neurotic child, or hyper child but it happens in spite of your good intentions. You always want better for your child than you had. You want them to be happy, successful and not have to work as hard as you did. I wonder what the fabulous wealthy want for their child? They have the wealth so what do they wish from their children?
My grandchildren won't remember me. I am too old when they were born. I don't live close to them and don't see them on a daily basis so how could they? I was lucky enough to have my maternal grandparents two streets away from me. My memories of them are priceless treasures. They were quite remarkable people. Never rich, just barely getting by but they had treasures of the soul and mind that are priceless. They worked very hard to get by. Came over from Europe, not even able to speak English, but you better believe that they learned the language. My grandmother who never went to school could write and speak 3 languages. She was not allowed in school. My grandfather could speak four languages. They came to get away from oppressors. My children will never know nor understand what they went through. They never knew them. My grandmother was able to hold my oldest son when he was born. She was blind by then but so proud to hold him and proud of me. I loved her tremendously and think of her most days.
Have been so depressed lately that when I read about someone who died, I think "How lucky can they get?" Am I going crazy or am I crazy already?
Thanksgiving will be here soon and am not in spirit. Usually love it but this year -no no no.
